Health * Wealth * Happiness

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Self-Hypnosis for Hypertension

Hypnosis gains intimate contact with the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is the part of you that seems to run on autopilot and is different for each person. This is due to our individual life experiences and the resultant decisions and beliefs we’ve created. And this is often why some people prefer communication by means of words (even certain words), while others prefer images, or sensations and feelings.

For self-hypnosis, you will want to find a comfortable space appealing to your all of your senses. You want to be as completely comfortable as possible. Now, you make a decision to banish all irrelevant thoughts, remove emotional surges, and to just slow down your body from head to toe. This decision-making process is important in that it conveys your intent, a sort of agreement made with the unconscious mind.

Now, close your eyes. (Or you can leave them open.) Start to notice all of the connections you have with your body and the space around you. Allow all of these external connections to enhance your experience. The more you notice, the more you will allow and permit the external connections to easily dissolve.

You bodily awareness may shift from location to location. This is normal. Every time you notice it, guide your awareness to your heart and lungs. Notice how you begin to feel your internal connections and you might notice even more substantial internal connections with each new breath.

Now, say out loud or in your thoughts, “I desire my heart to be strong, regular, and relaxed. My blood pressure becomes more and more normal with each exhale.” You can create an image in your thoughts of your heart and blood becoming more and more healthy and normal. You can imagine how it feels for your heart, lungs, and blood pressure to become healthier and normal. Imagine the voices and sounds during your next checkup after you have improved your cardiovascular health.

Many people respond best to mental images. Oftentimes these images are an extension of our past experiences and associations. Since these images are derived from our unconscious mind, our most intimate space, these images are the most powerful and best images to symbolize the most profound results for a healthier cardiovascular system.

With hypnosis, we can speak to the unconscious mind directly. With this access, we can create something amazing and control the cardiac reactivity to our emotions. Becoming more aware of this connection will allow you to experience greater internal harmony, health, and a steady cardiac rhythm that is stronger and more stable and able to resist the emotional impact and pressure.

Advertisements

Assignment #5 – Identifying and Living Your Life Purpose

Assignment #5 – Identifying and Living Your Life Purpose

Jesse Harshbarger, Certified Law of Attraction Coach

Fall 2015 AM Mastermind Group

I started out without really understanding what a Life Purpose Statement means to me.  Understanding it better, means I understand that the purpose statement allows me to choose and select what I want for my life.  

I ran through Visualization 3, the uninhabited fabulous planet.  While breathing and relaxing I imagined this planet.  In hindsight, I find it curious that this planet which I could have imagined completely different, was pretty bare.  I could have imagined it being green and full, instead of bare.  I did think about bringing things with me that would help me improve the new environment.  I wanted to bring with me, other people, who could help me develop this new planet.  It’s curious to me that I imagined that I had to start from nothing.

The first thing I wanted to make happen was to establish a comfortable home.  This would be the place to gather and be social.  This home, comfortable for everyone, would lead to many positive creations.  I would make this planet home for everyone.  A home where everyone is cooperating and enjoying their days with all their needs being met or exceeded.  Everyone is happy and comfortable.

I came up with this purpose statement, “I am the channel between where you are right now, and where you want to be.”  Maybe I could have come up with something else, something to do with coming home.

My coaching client went through this process and exercise quite easily and quickly.  Here are the answers to the questions followed by her Life Purpose Statement:

In what ways are you creative?

I am creative in the ways I use money to help my loved ones.  I am creative in how I express my work to a wider audience so that it is relevant and new and informative.  I am creative at work in how I come up with solutions to problems that need research and coordination of multiple resources.

In what ways are you unique?

I am unique in that I am a good listener, problem-solver, mediator and giver when it comes to my loved ones and at work where I am sought out for assistance and answers.  

What things do you fantasize doing?

I fantasize about not having to work in my current field anymore.  I don’t want to worry about money anymore and just travel for a bit and go to spiritual retreats and find out what God wants for my life.  Figure out how to use my gifts in a new and different way.

What do you fantasize having?  

A lofty bank account where I don’t have to worry about making money for about 3-5 years.  After that I’ll go back to work with a different, fresher perspective in my work and what I want to do for this world with my time and my life.

Who do you dream of being?

Mother Theresa.  


Who do you admire?

Mother Theresa.   I have yet to see anyone give and love like she has to those who are considered the most unlovable (the lowest caste in India, the orphans and prostitutes).

What is it that you admire most about them? (What you admire in others you have within yourself!)  

Their understanding of God’s unconditional love for themselves and the ability to give that away to others without hesitation, cost analysis – just radically giving because there is a need.  

What are the most important things to you in your life today?  

My freedom to do things with MY TIME and to do things for myself (spiritually, health-wise to exercise and eat wisely, spending time with loved ones, learn new things (maybe go into holistic medicine).

Life Purpose Statement:  “I am the pottery that can hold God’s love and give God’s love but first I need to receive God’s love, daily.”

ATHLETIC/SPORTS MASSAGE

      Sports Massage has been used for centuries in the prevention and treatment of athletic injuries, and to help improve athletic performance. Sports Massage is readily used by many professional athletes, including the U.S. Olympic Team, and it’s acceptance as an effective means of sport enhancement is apparent across a wide range of professionals, at varying levels of competition.

There are many benefits to receiving sports massage on a regular basis. Sports massage can: relax muscles, improve circulation without increasing heart load; increase range of motion; help the recipient obtain a feeling of connectedness, a better awareness of their body and the way they use and position it; relieve pain and discomfort associated with muscle tension, fractures, sprains, sciatica, and stiff joints; shorten recovery time from muscular strain by flushing the tissue of lactic acid, uric acid and other metabolic wastes; stretch the ligaments and tendons, keeping them supple; stimulate the skin and nervous system while at the same time relaxing the nerves themselves, help reduce emotional and physical stress. It is often recommended as part of a regular program for stress management, and to be used in clinical settings as medical or remedial therapy.

1. Athletic/Sports Massage Defined.

Athletic massage, also called sports massage, is the application of massage techniques that combine sound anatomical and physiological knowledge, an understanding of strength training and conditioning, and specific massage skills to enhance athletic performance. Athletic massage is a method of massage designed to prepare an athlete for an upcoming event. It is achieved through specialized manipulations that stimulate circulation of the blood and lymph.

2. The Purpose of Athletic Massage Explained.

In addition to a thorough understanding of human anatomy and physiology, the therapist must know the functions of the circulatory, skeletal, muscular, and nervous systems of the body. Athletic or Sports massage refers to a method of massage especially designed to prepare an athlete for an upcoming event and to aid in the body’s regenerative and restorative capacities following a rigorous workout or competition. This is achieved through specialized manipulations that stimulate circulation of the blood and lymph. Some sports massage movements are designed to break down lesions and adhesions or reduce fatigue. Sports massage generally follows the Swedish system of massage, with variations of movements applied according to the judgment of the practitioner and the results he or she wants to achieve. Sports teams, especially those in professional baseball, football, basketball, hockey, ice skating and swimming, often retain a professionally trained massage practitioner. Athletes, dancers and others who must keep muscles strong and supple are often instructed in automassage (how to massage one’s own muscles) and in basic massage on a partner.

Athletic massage is not limited to only the most highly competitive athlete. The very same techniques can be beneficial to any active individual for assessing and working on soft tissue conditions. Athletic massage can improve the ability to perform while reducing the incidence of lost time due to injury and fatigue. Regular athletic massage may extend the athlete’s career by identifying and eliminating conditions in the soft tissue that are at potential risk of injury.

3. The Causes of Muscle Fatigue.

A universally accepted principle of exercise is that for a training adaptation to occur, a physiological system must be exercised at a level beyond that to which it is presently accustomed. This overload forces the physiological systems to adapt to the applied stresses. The overload principle in conditioning refers to the necessity of applying stresses to the body greater than it is accustomed to in order to increase strength or endurance. Exercise frequency, duration and intensity are the variables most often manipulated to provide overload to the systems of the body.

When an individual pushes to improve muscle strength and endurance there are a few negative effects the athlete will experience.

The negative effects of exercise include:

• Increased metabolic waste build-up in the tissues

• Strains in the muscle or connective tissue. These may range from microscopic microtrauma to major injury.

• Inflammation and associated fibrosis

• Spasms and pain that restrict movement.

Dehydration, overheating, depletion of muscle fuels, low blood glucose, central fatigue, overuse or inadequate warm-up or stretching may result in muscle exhaustion. All of the aforementioned can result from overtraining. Overtraining can be defined as excessive frequency, volume, or intensity of training, resulting in fatigue. Overtraining or any other detrimental affect may be relieved or avoided with proper rest and recovery.

These negative effects of exercise normally take an athlete forty-eight to seventy-two hours to rest, adapt, and recuperate. When applied correctly, athletic massage can reduce the recuperation time by as much as 50 percent.

4. The Major Benefits of Athletic Massage.

The goal of athletic massage is to enhance the athlete’s performance. Athletic massage has many benefits for every aspect of an athletes training regimen. Restrictions from pain, spasms, and tension inhibit freedom of movement. Without freedom of movement, precision is adversely affected. Athletic massage reduces many of the restrictions and also helps to:

• Prevent muscle and tendon injuries.

• Reduces the strain and discomfort of training and chronic strain patterns, allowing a quicker return to maximum training levels.

• Enables the athlete to recover more quickly from myofascial injury with less chance of chronic problems returning.

• Provides psychological boosts to the athlete, consistent with his or her commitment to high performance.

• Enhances a preventive approach to athletic training whereby soft tissues are free of trigger points and adhesions, thus contributing toward the improvement of peak neuromuscular functioning.

• Pre-event massage stimulates circulation, calms nervous tension, and prepares the athlete for optimal performance while reducing the chances of injury.

• Post-event massage relieves soreness and assists in the removal of lactic acid and other waste products

• Training massage focuses on the prevention of developing chronic injuries and aids in the healing process of current chronic injuries.

5. Contraindications for Athletic Massage.

Athletic massage is contraindicated at the site of fresh acute muscle injuries. Any heart condition, anemia, diabetes, thyroid disorders, liver and lung conditions, cancer, skin disease, varicose veins, hypertension, internal injuries, wounds, or like conditions are basic contraindications for any type of massage.

Any type of massage is not recommended for anyone who is experiencing fever, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea, jaundice, varicose veins, bleeding, acute phlebitis, or thrombosis. In the case of high blood pressure or heart problems, avoid massage to the abdomen. Anyone with fractures or bruises should not receive massage on areas of injury. Pregnant women should check with their doctors first.

Athletic massage is contraindicated in any abnormal condition, injury, illness, or disease except as advised by the athlete’s physician.

6. Location of Major Stress Points on The Body.

Muscles often contain alarm points or stress points. Stress points are areas of chronic stress or the site of microtrauma that are generally located at the ends of muscles or in taut bands of muscle tissue. Points located in taut bands are trigger points. Stress points are often located at the musculo-tendinous junction. Due to the low ratio blood vessels to tissue, fatigue often occurs first at these two points. When a muscle is headed for injury, the first indication is often apparent here.

7. The Importance of Warm-Up Exercises and Massage and The Relation to An Athletes Performance.

Warming up or stretching before exercise prepares the mind, heart, muscles and joints for the upcoming event. Warming up lowers blood pressure, improves blood flow to the heart, increases muscle temperature and makes muscles more pliable.

Massage in general is defined as the systematic manual or mechanical manipulations of the soft tissues of the body by such movements as rubbing, kneading, pressing, rolling, slapping, and tapping, for therapeutic purposes such as promoting circulation of the blood and lymph, relaxation of muscles, relief from pain, restoration of metabolic balance, and other benefits both physical and mental.

8. The Relationship of Certain Athletic or Sports Activities to Possible Injuries.

The best way to treat an athletic injury is to prevent it. Proper massage therapy improves circulation, enabling damaged tissue to be carried away while making rebuilding nutrients available so that healing time is reduced.

Massage is contraindicated at the site of fresh acute muscle injuries. Massage for new or fresh injuries should only be given by properly trained therapists in conjunction with a physician’s approval. Rehabilitative massage can be given at the rate of once or twice a day during the time the athlete is out of training and every other day or every third day until he or she is back to a full training schedule.

Rehabilitative Massage:

• Shortens the time it takes for an injury to heal

• Maintains or increases range of motion

• Helps to reduce swelling and edema

• Eliminates splinting in associated muscle tissue

• Helps to form strong, pliable scar tissue

• Locates and deactivates trigger points that form as a result of the trauma

• Helps get the athlete back into training sooner with less chance of reinjury

RICE is an acronym for rest, ice, compression and elevation. This represents proper first aid for soft tissue injuries. Acute injuries have a sudden and definite onset and are usually of relatively short duration. Chronic injuries have a gradual onset, tend to last for a long time, or reoccur often. Strains involve tearing of muscle tissue or tendons. Sprains involve ligaments.

9. Four Basic Applications of Athletic Massage and the Goals of each.

The four basic applications for athletic massage are massage previous to an event, massage after an event, massage during training, and massage during injury rehabilitation.

The goal of pre-event massage is to increase circulation and flexibility in the areas of the body about to be used. The goal of post-event massage is to increase circulation to clear out metabolic wastes, reduce muscle tension and spasm, and quiet the nervous system. The goal of massage during training is to allow the athlete to train at a higher level of intensity, more consistently, with less chance of injury, and to maintain muscles in the best possible state of nutrition, flexibility, and vitality. The goal of massage during rehabilitation is to get the athlete back into full performance a soon as possible with less chance of reinjury.

Massage is considered to be most beneficial to the athlete as a regular part of his or her scheduled training. The therapist must be sure to apply proper techniques in order to avoid aggravating a condition or causing permanent damage to the area.

10. Massage Techniques Commonly used in athletic Massage.

Techniques commonly used in sports massage include those of Swedish massage plus compression, cross-fiber friction, deep pressure, and active joint movements.

The primary goal of compression is to create hyperemia in the muscle tissue. In athletic massage, hyperemia refers to the increases amount of blood and other fluids in and moving through the muscle tissue. Compression is applied with the palm of the hand in a rhythmic pumping action to the belly of the muscle.

Transverse or cross-fiber friction massage was popularized by the British osteopath Dr. James Cyriax. Cross fiber friction is applied by rubbing across the fibers of the tendon, muscle, or ligament at a 90 degree angle to the fibers. The use of transverse friction effectively reduces fibrosis and encourages the formation of strong, pliable scar tissue at the site of healing injuries. Cross-fiber friction is effective at reducing the crystalline roughness that forms between tendons and their sheaths that sometimes result in painful tendonitis. The objective of using cross-fiber friction in athletic massage is to reduce fibrosis, encourage the formation of strong, pliable scar tissue at the site of healing injuries, and prevent or soften adhesions in fibrous tissue.

In athletic massage, deep pressure is used to relieve stress points and deactivate trigger points. Deep pressure does not mean painful techniques. The athlete must understand that a certain amount of discomfort may occur and be willing to work with the therapists through deep breathing and relaxation techniques. Deep and intense massage is like an intense workout and should be done when training is light or during the athlete’s off days.

Active joint movements or more commonly referred to today as Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation system of therapy. It is better known by the acronym PNF. PNF stretching is based on reciprocal inhibition and post-isometric relaxation. PNF has been utilized in one form or another by many health care providers and athletic trainers. It is utilized in most instances to enhance range of motion for improved athletic performance or in a rehabilitation setting to restore range of motion that has been decreased due to injury.

Another form of active joint movements that is a modification of PNF is called Muscle Energy Technique or MET. MET helps to counteract muscle spasm, improve flexibility, and restore muscle strength. PNF stretching or MET is performed by moving the affected body part to the point of discomfort and then backing out to the point where no discomfort is experienced. The therapist then holds that position while the client contracts the muscles for about 5 to 30 seconds and then relaxes. This is repeated until the client experiences improved flexibility and articulation.

11. Identify the presence of soft tissue injury.

To be an effective athletic (sports) massage therapist, a person should have a thorough understanding of anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, biomechanics, and massage technique. While each area of study is important, kinesiology, which is the study of body movement, helps the therapist in particular to recognize which muscles and muscle groups the athlete is using in a particular sport. The other area of study that is of particular importance to sports therapists is biomechanics. Biomechanics is the study of biological systems and the forces, pressures and movement patterns that occur during different activities. The study of biomechanics dates back to Leonardo DaVinci, Galileo and many other scientists. All these scientists had a primary interest in the application of mechanics to biological problems. This knowledge of kinesiology and biomechanics is especially important when pain is present in order to diagnose and treat injuries correctly.

It is the nature of athletes to push the limit and beyond in order to excel at their particular sport. Constant stress and strain combined with constant fatigue can lead to microtrauma or more serious injury. When working with clients or when teaching my martial arts students I have always cautioned that, “A person’s greatest strength when overextended can become that person’s greatest weakness.” Quite simply, know your limits and the risks involved when exceeding those limits.

Most athletic injuries result from trauma, a fall or contact, or simply the result of excessive and/or repeated stress to a particular area. Strains involve the tearing of muscle tissue or tendons. Sprains involve ligaments. Grade I, Grade II and Grade II is how the severity of strains or sprains is graded. Grade I is mild pain. Grade II is moderate to severe pain with some tearing of the fibrous tissue and reduced range of motion. Grade III is the most serious with immediate pain, extensive swelling with no range of motion present.

Massage on acute injuries is contraindicated; however prompt first aid greatly reduces the extent of injury and recovery time. As noted earlier, RICE is the acronym for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. Frequent applications of RICE for the first twenty-four to forty-eight hours will reduce the pain, swelling, and spasm significantly.

After a period of 48 to 72 hours, when the swelling and inflammation have subsided and the injury has entered the subacute stage, massage treatments are begun to stimulate circulation to and away from the area and to begin to mobilize the tissue so that as the tissue regenerates, scar tissue forms that is strong, pliable, and flexible. Pain is the indicator to the athlete and therapist as to the intensity of the techniques.

12. Conclusion

Massage during training, also called restorative massage, is the most beneficial form of sports massage for an athlete. As an exercise enthusiast and amateur athlete, I can attribute much of my performance and physical health to restorative and preventative massage therapy. Massage during training increases blood and lymph circulation thereby allowing more efficient oxygen and nutrient transportation to the cells that need it most as well as more efficient removal of toxic waste from the very same cells.

Another benefit of restorative massage is the breaking down of transverse adhesions that may have resulted from previous injuries. This promotes better power, better circulation, less chance of injury, increased mobility, increased flexibility and better performance. The athlete will be able to achieve maximum effort sooner and maintain it longer with fewer, if any detrimental effects.

Sports Massage, Athletic massage or any modality of massage therapy, when applied conscientiously and correctly, always has the same objective: to provide a service that enhances the client’s physical health and sense of well being. I truly hope that this sports massage review will help you in your bodywork endeavors. If you have any questions on the above, personal training or massage in general feel free to give me, Jesse Harshbarger a call at 703-981-4563 or email at massage@alohahands.com.

Reference Books

Milady’s Theory and Practice of Therapeutic Massage, Beck’s 3rd Edition, Copyright © 1999 (Milady Publishers)

Essentials of Strength Training and Conditioning, By the National Strength and Conditioning Association, Thomas R. Baechle and Roger W. Earle, Editors. Published by Human Kinetics

© 2002, 2003 NCBTMB, Virginia License & Professional Member AMTA — All Rights Reserved

Healthy Mind & Healthy Body

Nutrition is very important to the athlete. The source of the food is important. If the athlete ingests empty calories, void of quality carbohydrates, protein and fat, the athlete will surely pay the price through degraded or weak performance. We know that glucose is used for energy. Consistently eating quality carbohydrates is important to maintaining the levels of glycogen stores within the muscles. Carb-loading is important to anticipated prolonged activity (eating a lot of carbs 2-3 days before an event.) On the opposite side of what to do, eating a candy bar or sugar before an event isn’t necessarily a good idea and may degrade performance. Sugar needs water to be assimilated within the body. What do we need water for while being active? To perspire and cool down the body. Eating sugar before activity will tend to steal away the water from the body and causes an insulin spike. After the spike, the blood sugar is lowered and the athlete will certainly feel the side effects.

Good training will not overcome poor nutrition. Good nutrition will not overcome poor training. Therefore, do not think nutrition and training are directly correlated. The two are symbiotic per se, but not directly consequential. Training the muscles and the brain are important to technical performance, speed of completion, accuracy, and cerebral tactician (smart choices against opponents.) To an ultimate extent, what you eat doesn’t affect this. And how you eat is not enough to overcome poor training habits or schedules. The symbiotic nature of the two is such that each must be conducted correctly in order to produce the best results. Eating right will keep your innards functioning properly, which is helpful to your muscles and body. Training right will keep your body fluid and regular; just like over-training can over-task your digestive and recovery systems.

How Now Brown Cow?

Sometimes we focus on lack… instead we should focus on abundance, or what we do have. With a focus on “having it”, owning a focus like this, you begin to see what you have and this tends to lead to attracting more. …remember the “don’t think about the blue elephant” concept? or the invisible Ape video? Where our focus is, we get more of… Now, about “it’s not how well you do it, it’s about what you do”… Much better than the opposite, when you are doing something you love, you will always be happy doing it, even when not doing it perfectly… and, a bit more, if you are doing good deeds, then you’re doing good deeds… progress is progress, better is better, more is more. Perfection is an illusion, delusion and if realized, a singular perception. Your perfection exists within the construct of allowing; begin to accept and allow, again and again. start now. or right now.

No More Fear for Mateo

Imagine how living with fear affects your health, your heart, your blood pressure, your skin, and your hair! The greater your fear, the greater the negative consequence to your health, mentally, physically and spiritually, causing you to age faster and faster.

For longer than the past 15 years I’ve been in the service industry, providing services while sometimes being financially compensated and other times the reward was intrinsic, felt within. I think it is quite possible there have been more occasions where I have provided my services for the mere asking. My favorites are the times I have been treated to a family BBQ and engaging conversation while playing with the kids and the family dog. I recall vividly working with the many people whom I only interacted with for the brief moments of time while I was helping them. In each of these interactions I had a specific and focused intention to promote and encourage their health; physical, mental and spiritual.

One occasion I was driving as a taxi service and I received a notice for a pick up request. I accepted the request and I picked up the rider, Mateo. Mateo was enthusiastic right from the start, expressing curiosity more than other riders who engage me in conversation.   He asked me what else I did for work and when I mentioned Neuro Linguistic Programming and hypnosis, a barrage of questions followed, “How does it work?”, “Who does it work on?”, “What kind of things can it work on?” and many more, one right after the other, without waiting for my response. I thought a quick demonstration would be fun and worth much more than “text book” responses, but I was unsure if we would have enough time during our short ride to the movie theater.

I asked young Mateo, “Do you have any fears? What is your greatest fear?” Right away he said, “Spiders!” I could tell that his fear was high for just his mention of spiders caused a physical response. Mateo rated his fear a 10, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being “I’m going to die right now!” While talking with Mateo, I listened for his context, structure and his process for his fear. This revealed to me his “pattern”, the how and why he was afraid of spiders. From his responses and the speed of traffic, I decided to run a simple and effective interactive visualization technique.

Through a few quick visualizations, and a series of reframes, Mateo’s perspective of spiders began to change. His fear quickly diminished and as we sat in front of the theater, Mateo turned to me and said, “Huh… spiders are okay.” The best part was what he said last, “Jesse, you have changed my life.”

How cool was that?

Jesse Harshbarger, BCHt, NLP, MER®, LMT, CPT

Jesse

Sports Therapy, Fitness & Nutrition,  Success Coaching & Quit Smoking Specialist
Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming
Master Practitioner of Mental and Emotional Release Therapy®
National Guild of Hypnotists Board Certified Hypnotherapist
Recognized and Certified through The Association for Integrative Psychology
http://www.jesseharshbarger.com  or  http://jesse.coach

How adaptable are you? Be like a Casanova Chameleon.

I saw that to accomplish anything I must bring all my physical and moral faculties in play, make the acquaintance of the great and the powerful, exercise strict self-control, and play the chameleon.
– Giacomo Casanova

Many people may think of Casanova as only a womanizer. To broaden that perspective a bit, think about how each of us desires for something more in life. Casanova believed to accomplish in life he needed to be able to adapt while in the face of other people. Casanova gained fame and influence as an adventurer. He traveled frequently while seeking fortune and resourcefully sought out prominent figures that had already achieved what he desired to call his own. He used charm and personality. Casanova accomplished socializing with royalty, popes and cardinals amongst many other socialites. As a librarian, he accomplished this celebrity through perfecting a chameleon like personality. He was able to assess and determine another person’s dominant personality trait and then almost magically establish a strong rapport with others with whom he only just met.

How adaptable are you? Being able to create rapport with people you know well can be challenging at times, let alone, creating rapport with a stranger. Those who do it naturally, without thinking about it, do so through a mental process that has become automatic. No matter how “natural” someone appears to be at any given skill, a skill by definition is always learned. So can you, learn, develop and grow your social skills. Yes, you can.

Begin developing your social awareness by watching others from afar. Noticing how people interact with one another and what they do is important. I think most important is to notice what people do to make others smile. Recognizing what is important to the person you are interacting with is key to establishing and building good rapport. Playing the chameleon, you will speak in a way that appeals to others, specifically the person you are attempting to build rapport. Casanova recognized that he had to use self-control and play to the desires or needs of others. This takes a certain discipline because sometimes it requires you to deviate from the “type” of person you identify yourself to be, your personality type, and your type of energy.

In order to develop a personality trait you find awkward to emulate or perhaps maybe you recognize you may be a bit weak in a certain area, you must train that part of you, the way a bodybuilder trains a body part to increase the size and shape. Through repetitious practice you will become the person you want to be. It will become easier and easier as you become more comfortable and feel more natural.

You must be able to play the chameleon. You have all of these social skills within you already. You just need to bring it out. You can be practical, social, funny, and sincere. Imagine being what you desire to be. Picture what you will see when being that person. What will you feel and how will it feel to you? Think about the sounds you will hear, and what you will hear yourself saying to others. You must stay within your ability to be comfortable and avoid the extreme personality. You must strike a balance with your desired improved trait in order to be received as natural and develop strong rapport.

Now, go out and practice on strangers. Someone you won’t see again. You develop a skill through lots of practice, don’t you? You will bring these skills out of you by molding and building on the innate skill you were born with. When you have practiced this several times you’ll start recognizing how much more often you present this new personality trait naturally when in the presence of those you might not have had such a strong rapport with in the past. You will start connecting with people through the emotion that comes from feeling connected with another person.

I hope this has been helpful to you. When you are more of a chameleon, you will seem to be more persuasive, alive, healthier and happier… and you might actualize real change within yourself and others also. I wish you the best in your endeavor to be more than who you are today. I can relate to the struggle. I also know we can overcome adversity and realize the type of happiness that comes from feeling secure and comfortable with others.

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: